At that moment the pain and the effort of the last year vanished from my mind, the exhaustion of the past 12 hours disappeared and as I ran along Lake Terrace, Taupo, with my husband beside me I had no recollection of the despair and heartbreak I had been feeling earlier on in the day.
At this point in time, although I was aware of so much noise, emotion and movement I truly do not recollect anything except my focused determination as I eyed up that finishing line, and so with a new found energy that had been missing from my body for some hours I cruised into the finishing chute of the New Zealand Ironman 2005. As I heard the loud speaker blare and anticipated the next comment from the commentator I looked at my husbands face and said, "Paul you are an Ironman for the very first time!"
Although he had not actually said my name in there as well, I knew that if Paul had any energy left in his exhausted body he would have corrected him and although I was not officially and Ironman on that day I knew that the past 12 months and the realisation of this dream had by no way been one mans race.
The Ironman journey started out as a wish as I can only imagine it does for so many. We had been a close family but due to work and life commitments this closeness was slipping from our grasp. Previously a Rugby widow, I was not truly welcoming the idea of a new sport dominating our lives. As I saw it, we were going from Saturday games , Saturday night celebrations and Sundays recovery to weekends consumed with long training sessions, but as I saw a new found passion in my husband I supported his enthusiasm 100% and in June found the garage contents converted from dirty rugby boots to Lycra and a bike.
I found that although I was always proud of my husband on the rugby Field there was not a lot I could do to support him. However, with this new sport I was up with him making meals for the next big ride, ensuring his stock of energy replacement had not gone to low and instead of training nights with the boys we did tea and afternoons reflecting with other triathletes. So, quite contently every Sunday I would wave goodbye to him from the front door as he headed off on yet another long ride. Another day for a long period he would be gone and i would battle on with my own endurance event training - raising our 4 year old son and one year old daughter, not an event with the glory of a finish line but still the most important event of my life.
Over the cold winter months training was hard, being trapped in the small confines of our home with two youngsters who really just wanted to be with their Dad and stretching their legs. Dad was torn between the Ironman dream and the comfort of playing on the warm lounge floor with his kids. Circumstances and choices later saw my husband leave full time work- a chance for some help with the kids or maybe a bit more time to really concentrate on his dream?
Of course the dream won out, a coach was hired and I bitterly retreated to the laundry to make sure his Lycra was clean and ready for the next ride.
So here I was at the end of winter and finally being able to support my husband in his sport, but did I really want to? It was at times like this or moments of screaming kids and no help that the thought "Is this really worth it?" would appear, the same thought that would run through thousands of Ironman heads on that fresh March day in Taupo some months later.
With the warm weather came the run up of events and this is when I realised that our winter slog had been worth every moment. We had endured the hardest part of any event - training through winter!
Summer is enjoyed not only by Ironman athletes but by their supporters, this is when all the hard slog starts to pay off and you start to reap the benefits of the long lonely hours of winter. Although once again not getting the personal congratulations, all the praise and compliments of Paul's hard sessions and discipline were always passed straight through to me. And once again I would see the satisfying grin that had filled his face on Ironman day; the expression of "we are dong this, and we are doing it well"
Summer is great, the longer days, the hot weather means escape from the house, but by no means did either one of us let up on the long training hours. Paul got to do a huge bulk of his outside work in the light and I got to do the bulk of mine on road trips. As much as I was enjoying the weekends away and seeing the crossing of another finish line, amusing two under five year olds in the car and roadside was always a long and exhausting time. As I had paid no entry fee for my event or not officially registered I also seemed to miss out on the privilege of lying shattered and wrecked on the couch the following day nursing my wounds. Instead I always seemed to be treated to a session similar to a brick in my husbands eyes, two kids and a husband with the physical ability of a 6 month old for a whole 24 hours or so!
I make myself sound ungrateful and I make it sound as though I hadn't chosen this, but I knew I was here of my own accord and I loved every minute.
From Christmas through to March our lives were consumed with Ironman, we planned everything around March 4. It was our lives and our focus and so when we finally reached the day, Paul was pleased with all his work he felt he had truly put 110% into his first Ironman. Our families and friends all gathered at a rental house in Taupo days before the event. They were looking after the kids and in awe of Paul and his monumental rise from overweight rugby player to inspired athlete. As we all enjoyed the general atmosphere that is Ironman, I reflected, firstly on how as a young mum I was guilty of getting so caught up with life to actually stop and watch it, and secondly on how Ironman had bought this out in me. I saw the closeness that had concerned me 12 months earlier and how much stronger we were as a family and as a team.
I saw the glow of true happiness and health on my husbands face, something that had only appeared rarely and briefly in the past few years, and I saw the love and support of our greater family unit and friends. I now knew that in Paul entering this race and realising his Ironman dream, I too had realised a dream of my own, a dream to compete in my own personal endurance event; to live my life fully and happily with my family by my side. I have seen the positive benefits Ironman had on my husband and one day I hope I will experience an Ironman. But I am happy being in the background and leaving the glory to my husband for a few more years.
So as he crossed the finish line, got the one statement that he had dreamed of hearing and then briskly been whisked off into a medical tent I stood, dazed. I looked around for Paul's face. As he entered the tent I ran along the fence line trying to grab his attention, like a caged animal I paced the fence waiting for a glimpse of him, I wanted him to see the pride in my eyes that was overwhelming my heart. On long hour later, one hour of sitting and reliving every moment,One hour of repeating the Ironman phrase, one hour of wandering how he was and how he felt.
Finally, he emerged and in that moment I know that as I saw him walk towards me I had that same look he had had one hour earlier, the same look of satisfaction, pride and overwhelming joy I had seen in his eyes. We were Ironman for the very first time.
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