"It doesn't hurt to ask , Mum!"

It is amazing the wisdom our children have if we choose to listen.

My 8 year old learnt a theory after I surprised her with a birthday gift signed by her Idol, Maria Tutaia (all thanks to Tash at the Mystics) it then got better as I managed to "push" her into meeting Maria after a game and they swapped email addresses to become "email buddies". When she asked me in disbelief how SHE got a present from Maria, I said"All you have to do is ask honey!"

So as I tried to talk my daughter out of emailing Maria just before her latest Silver Ferns game to say, "Good luck, oh and do you want to come to Thames and play with me and have lunch for Christmas" her reply shouldn't have stunned me as it is the philosophy I usually try and live by:

"It can't hurt to ask Mum"

With this in mind I honestly didn't have much hope in my theory when approaching my favorite swimming labels for assistance with "Swim for Nana". First email I sent off to an awesome swimsuit company in Aussie, one I had admired for quite some time, Then another off to Pauls Wetsuit sponsor in Albany - a few days past and I thought I was probably going to be ignored, another theory I am guilty of, ignore something (or someone) long enough and they might just go away...BUT a few days after losing hope I got replies from both companies, both keen as to get on board and both really passionate about the charity and me, It is very cool to transform from a back-worker to an Athlete, a mum in the shadows, and a boring housewife to become the "someone" of "something".

And as much as I love being the silent drive behind the Ironmans journey and my kids successes it is also satisfying to be doing my own thing, A few days after the emails confirming Aquadiva and Aquaspheres (I'm like the Aqua chick!)commitment to "Swim for Nana" parcels began to arrive.... Firstly my new swimsuits for training, and as I slipt into my first proper swimming suits I felt the difference it made in my confidence and belief, next my stunning new wetsuit, this one wasnt so much a case of "slipping " into, in-fact it as one of the moments there needed to be a camera as Paul had to literally squeeze me in to my awesome new suit, once it was on again the feeling of belief and total amazement that such large popular companies would back me, and a little bit of panic as I realized what is now on the line....With the suits arrived a voucher to raffle off for the charity, (on sale at the Thames pool) The Lovely Lucy at Aquadiva designed my flash Poster and the crew at Art Effects in Thames printed it off for me for free, I am simply one person trying to add my own little bit of magic in the world and to have all these people support and join me is such an amazing feeling, It is truly making the journey so much more memorable, and Tim, Lucy, Tony- you guys rock, Nana would be very proud of us all! The swim is now just over 3 weeks away, my nerves are calming, I know I am capable of doing it but now I want to make sure i do it well!

Swim for Nana Plan

Man life can through you curve balls time and time again and I think the trick to it is to keep getting up and trucking on! As a very wise man always told "smile and the world smiles with you Becca Barlow"

After a whirlwind of all sorts over the past few months I think I am ready to try and settle!

The Ironman has been nursing a severely sprained ankle for 8 weeks ( take note: if you hear a "popping" sound from your ankle it generally is not a good thing) although he is a terrible patient - I think most husbands/ironmen are! he has been very patient and sensible , nursing the injury hopefully back to almost 100%. His team of trainers have been very patient with him and Shaneo even went out in sympathy and broke his elbow! (the 2 cripples have been over training in the disciplines they are able in...) We have met with Walter at Go2Max and the difference it makes to Walts frame of mind having Walter back on board is worth its weight in gold, he is naturally quite obsessive when he puts his mind to something but is also quite lax so needs someone to answer to, and the respect he has for Walter makes him the perfect person for the job, I think it is very important to find a good coach that works for you, once you do it can make the difference between just being a finisher at Ironman or going out and demolishing it! Walt and Walter have found that relationship and over the past 3 years they have knocked a good few hours off Walts Ironman time and are hopeful of more impressive things next year!Bring it on , I say!

As I have tried to be sympathetic to what is happening for Walt and how frustrating it must have been I have also been nursing my own injuries, The stress from work and family illness proving to great and forcing me (truly it did force me?) to quit my job and take some time out for me...this in itself is very unusual as I generally don't do things for me....Does any Ironman Wife? however it couldn't have been more timely as it coincided with my Nana (and one of my best friends) first real illness in 85 years. My two kids and I spent all day Tuesday with her at home then she got taken to hospital that night for a blood transfusion - 2 weeks and 1 day later she passed pretty much in her sleep! I spent every moment I could with her, We all got to talk to her about our lives and her life and about her death, she got to tell all of us how proud she was of us and what we had achieved and she insisted that as we followed our dreams she would be there...IMNZ she will be waiting for Walt at the finish line, Keegz NZ Junior swimming champs, she will be on the blocks waiting. She was a true champion of life and we are all so blessed to have had her for as long as we did, I miss her every day and without her I feel as though I want to focus all this time I spend missing her on something worthwhile that would make her proud... So I am going to Swim for Nana! The plan was to raise money for NZ Blood, because over those 2 weeks and 1 day she must have almost drained NZ bloods supply, she received blood transfusions, platelette transfusions, I sat and learnt all about red blood cells, platelette levels, hypo plastic anemia, it was all quite surreal but as I watched and listened I knew that alot of people had donated to give Nana those last 2 weeks of life in good health so I really wanted to thank them, Turns out they don't need monetary donations...Money cant by blood Huh? however they do need donors- so please if you can donate do it, I guess we never know who we are saving or impacting but whoever gave us that blood for Nana I will be grateful to forever and I have signed myself up to start donating, therefore the second option was Save the Children, Nana has worked in their store volunteering for nearly 20 years, so with that in mind I am going to try and swim 5 of the 6 NZ State Ocean Swims, I have started swimming again (thats rather hilarious in itself!) I have a coach (who made me do a 1km time trail yesterday!)and I am trying to get a couple of awesome companies on board to help me..more about that as they say yes obviously!

So as I try and turn this anger and grief into something positive, as Walt tries to focus on the positive of having to sit 8 weeks out of running and as the world just keeps turning and throwing curve balls at us I think the advice is very appropriate , what else can you do but:

Smile!

Who's in IMNZ Team Thames?

Life really is a funny thing!

We spend our whole time here trying to make things work, trying for more time, more money, more satisfaction. We wish that today, tomorrow next week would hurry up and be over, we wait anxiously and excitedly for things we are working towards, all the while Life is ticking by and we are missing out on the now!

Having just recently had someone close to us diagnosed with depression it makes you appreciate that life no matter how long, and how great doesn't get any better than we believe it is today! We may get another chance tomorrow- and we may not, so why risk it! Why keep going to get something we may never get and forgo what we already have!

I know onlookers have always thought of our family choices as one sided, as Pauls decisions as being selfish, but after seeing the effects of a life that is now so fragile and dependant I know that what we do every day is what is right for us...It certainly does not pay the bills, and with overgrown lawns, half finished renovations and a dying car it is definitely not a help around the house, BUT it makes all 4 of us happy, It gives Paul a form of therapy, a hobby and a true passion out side of work and us, It gives me the opportunity to learn new things, to find new ways to stretch the family budget to get another pair of running shoes, to meet amazing people. It has given Keegz the desire to want to compete, to be the best he can be and to collect medals(very important not only at 11 but also at 38 aye hon?), and Cameron has grown up watching women do ANYTHING, meeting some of those fabulous athletes that she now aspires to be and truly believing that if she wants to race Kona or be a silver Fern, she will be!

We have been warned that it is hard to do Ironman "with" a family, but I truly believe it is easy to do Ironman "as" a family, I admit I get over it and the long sessions can seem very very long, but as with all good things it is what makes our today worth getting out of bed for.

As the trainings are starting to become more regular, the coach is starting to become an accountable reality, and the standard of Ironman Race we want to achieve is becoming higher I can sense the excitement, House renovations are being rushed to finish in the next few weeks so Ironman can become our all, dates for Keegz swim meets are being scrutinized as to not mess with the plan! and we are all pumped about what IMNZ 2012 will bring.

Paul has manage to convince a really great group of mates to tag along, Shaneo was a top (like national level) cyclist 20 odd years ago and is just resharpening his skills (Wife, Carmen is a beautician and appears very handy for the waxing duties!), Booda and Muffin (a couple) are both Redheads, both a little mad, have done a zillion open water swims, ultra marathons,he has done Ironman and Coast to Coast but she is one of our first timers! Paulie is returning to IMNZ (with Carmen, Carla and Lukey in tow)after an impressive first time last year - apparently the runner in the group, Richards is the other new comer, father of 4(Maddie, Baxter, Ruby and Pippa), husband to the best cook in the world(Mel), business owner and always busy, no one really knows where IMNZ will fit in but if you know Richards you just know it will! And finally Macca, decided against doing IMNZ as he didnt have the time(what with Kathy, Cole and Reid, Fishing, Hunting etc etc).....and yet has been doing ALL the training with the team, go figure Macca maybe you could have done it after all! As you can see a great group of mates and there families have joined in on our Ironman journey, it is going to be a blast and is truly going to make every moment we are here, there and everywhere totally worth being aware of! Hey would we want it any other way?x

Return of the Ironman and his wife!

Ironman NewZealand 2011 for all those who managed to get in had to fight the forces of mother nature and at some point in time probably wandered what you had committed yourselves to....Cam Brown once again won the mens title and the womens crown was passed onto a very deserving Sam Warriner. Taking nothing away from Jo Lawn though, an Ironman athlete I admire and have total respect for, she has been around as long as I have been supporting and my adoring 8 year old daughter has grown up with Jo as her idol..( not a bad thing at all in my eyes!) I have no doubt that the days events, weather included affected the end result in good ways and in bad, and as I have always said - this is Ironman.

Walt stood sideline all day wishing he had been out there doing it! Only thing is he never believed Jane and the rest of the Team at IMNZ when they sent those threatening emails urging you to enter as it was selling out, "Yeah Right, bloody Jane Patterson trying to get our money out of us" (sorry Jane!) - should have perhaps had a little more faith in the woman who had been so honest and strong in the distasterous IMNZ 2006. Of course Walt didnt have faith and as way to many people know IMNZ 2011 sold out before even half the kiwis could get off their backsides to enter!

SO needless to say there was no dilly dallying when it came time for IMNZ 2012 entry to open... there was no speculation on any side of the family camp, the money was tucked away safely in advance and all we could do was wait for the day......

The day has since come and gone and YES we are in! all that said and done the hard work now begins (I know parting with that much money is hard work) so I figure if he is going to go balls out, totally bust a gut giving this thing all he can I may as well be one step behind with my two cents worth, with my ideas (mostly brilliant!) with my advice (always appreciate!) and my support, and I also figure I may as well let you all in on a few ideas, reviews and what I have found works well for a normal everyday family attempting to tame the Ironman Beast!

In the past few months I have found some Amazing Products! and also some very average products...but those will be reviewed soon, until next time I am just so thrilled to say Mike Reilly we are on our way and by God we will be Ironmen!

Ironman Wives Part 1

"Published in Femme Magazine Feb 2006"

At that moment the pain and the effort of the last year vanished from my mind, the exhaustion of the past 12 hours disappeared and as I ran along Lake Terrace, Taupo, with my husband beside me I had no recollection of the despair and heartbreak I had been feeling earlier on in the day.

At this point in time, although I was aware of so much noise, emotion and movement I truly do not recollect anything except my focused determination as I eyed up that finishing line, and so with a new found energy that had been missing from my body for some hours I cruised into the finishing chute of the New Zealand Ironman 2005. As I heard the loud speaker blare and anticipated the next comment from the commentator I looked at my husbands face and said, "Paul you are an Ironman for the very first time!"

Although he had not actually said my name in there as well, I knew that if Paul had any energy left in his exhausted body he would have corrected him and although I was not officially and Ironman on that day I knew that the past 12 months and the realisation of this dream had by no way been one mans race.

The Ironman journey started out as a wish as I can only imagine it does for so many. We had been a close family but due to work and life commitments this closeness was slipping from our grasp. Previously a Rugby widow, I was not truly welcoming the idea of a new sport dominating our lives. As I saw it, we were going from Saturday games , Saturday night celebrations and Sundays recovery to weekends consumed with long training sessions, but as I saw a new found passion in my husband I supported his enthusiasm 100% and in June found the garage contents converted from dirty rugby boots to Lycra and a bike.

I found that although I was always proud of my husband on the rugby Field there was not a lot I could do to support him. However, with this new sport I was up with him making meals for the next big ride, ensuring his stock of energy replacement had not gone to low and instead of training nights with the boys we did tea and afternoons reflecting with other triathletes. So, quite contently every Sunday I would wave goodbye to him from the front door as he headed off on yet another long ride. Another day for a long period he would be gone and i would battle on with my own endurance event training - raising our 4 year old son and one year old daughter, not an event with the glory of a finish line but still the most important event of my life.

Over the cold winter months training was hard, being trapped in the small confines of our home with two youngsters who really just wanted to be with their Dad and stretching their legs. Dad was torn between the Ironman dream and the comfort of playing on the warm lounge floor with his kids. Circumstances and choices later saw my husband leave full time work- a chance for some help with the kids or maybe a bit more time to really concentrate on his dream?

Of course the dream won out, a coach was hired and I bitterly retreated to the laundry to make sure his Lycra was clean and ready for the next ride.

So here I was at the end of winter and finally being able to support my husband in his sport, but did I really want to? It was at times like this or moments of screaming kids and no help that the thought "Is this really worth it?" would appear, the same thought that would run through thousands of Ironman heads on that fresh March day in Taupo some months later.

With the warm weather came the run up of events and this is when I realised that our winter slog had been worth every moment. We had endured the hardest part of any event - training through winter!

Summer is enjoyed not only by Ironman athletes but by their supporters, this is when all the hard slog starts to pay off and you start to reap the benefits of the long lonely hours of winter. Although once again not getting the personal congratulations, all the praise and compliments of Paul's hard sessions and discipline were always passed straight through to me. And once again I would see the satisfying grin that had filled his face on Ironman day; the expression of "we are dong this, and we are doing it well"

Summer is great, the longer days, the hot weather means escape from the house, but by no means did either one of us let up on the long training hours. Paul got to do a huge bulk of his outside work in the light and I got to do the bulk of mine on road trips. As much as I was enjoying the weekends away and seeing the crossing of another finish line, amusing two under five year olds in the car and roadside was always a long and exhausting time. As I had paid no entry fee for my event or not officially registered I also seemed to miss out on the privilege of lying shattered and wrecked on the couch the following day nursing my wounds. Instead I always seemed to be treated to a session similar to a brick in my husbands eyes, two kids and a husband with the physical ability of a 6 month old for a whole 24 hours or so!

I make myself sound ungrateful and I make it sound as though I hadn't chosen this, but I knew I was here of my own accord and I loved every minute.

From Christmas through to March our lives were consumed with Ironman, we planned everything around March 4. It was our lives and our focus and so when we finally reached the day, Paul was pleased with all his work he felt he had truly put 110% into his first Ironman. Our families and friends all gathered at a rental house in Taupo days before the event. They were looking after the kids and in awe of Paul and his monumental rise from overweight rugby player to inspired athlete. As we all enjoyed the general atmosphere that is Ironman, I reflected, firstly on how as a young mum I was guilty of getting so caught up with life to actually stop and watch it, and secondly on how Ironman had bought this out in me. I saw the closeness that had concerned me 12 months earlier and how much stronger we were as a family and as a team.

I saw the glow of true happiness and health on my husbands face, something that had only appeared rarely and briefly in the past few years, and I saw the love and support of our greater family unit and friends. I now knew that in Paul entering this race and realising his Ironman dream, I too had realised a dream of my own, a dream to compete in my own personal endurance event; to live my life fully and happily with my family by my side. I have seen the positive benefits Ironman had on my husband and one day I hope I will experience an Ironman. But I am happy being in the background and leaving the glory to my husband for a few more years.

So as he crossed the finish line, got the one statement that he had dreamed of hearing and then briskly been whisked off into a medical tent I stood, dazed. I looked around for Paul's face. As he entered the tent I ran along the fence line trying to grab his attention, like a caged animal I paced the fence waiting for a glimpse of him, I wanted him to see the pride in my eyes that was overwhelming my heart. On long hour later, one hour of sitting and reliving every moment,One hour of repeating the Ironman phrase, one hour of wandering how he was and how he felt.

Finally, he emerged and in that moment I know that as I saw him walk towards me I had that same look he had had one hour earlier, the same look of satisfaction, pride and overwhelming joy I had seen in his eyes. We were Ironman for the very first time.

Return of an Ironman Wife!

Well, I have returned.

Really I probably never went away!

I was cleaning out my old computer files a few days ago and found the original Ironman Wives Column from an old Femme Fitness magazine and realized how much I achieved from writing down what so many of us supporters are going through...cleaning the Lycra, mixing the Replace and feeding the tired grumpy athletes day in and day out to get them to a start (and hopefully a finish)line.

In the next few days I will endevour to re-blog those first few columns to refresh memories of Ironmans past, and although we will be in Taupo on the side line come March I am ever so hopeful that I will be blogging about Ironmans in the future...Walt was trying so hard to be supportive and "family orientated" when he decided against doing IM 2010, but I think we have all realized that IM is what we are about as a family, it is what we thrive on and how we survive as a unit. Don't get me wrong, the tensions mount-the temper soars and at times we all get fed up with it, but at the end of the day we love doing what we do to get Walt(Dad) to that start line and see him become an "Ironman".

The struggles to come to terms with his decision against competing this year have been hard, it is hard to describe the almost lost feeling when you have had such a large goal for so long and no longer have it, And it is quite a hard one to replace....so I think we should just realize that maybe it cant be replaced, maybe once you have done Ironman there is nothing else that can quite compare, and maybe once we all, Walt, the kids and I admit this to ourselves and each other, one of us will once again don the Lycra, spend endless hours on the bike, in the pool and running and again realize that all any of us really want is to be an "IRONMAN!"